Rating: Good
Chalked Up blurb excerpt: Fanciful dreams of becoming the next Nadia Comaneci led Jennifer Sey to become a gymnast at the age of six. Her early success propelled her family to sacrifice everything to help her become, by age 11, one of America's elite. But as she set her sights higher and higher, Jennifer began to change, setting her needs, her health, and her well-being aside in the name of winning. And the adults in her life refused to notice her downward spiral.
Now, Sey reveals the tarnish beneath her gold medals. A powerful portrait of intensity and drive, eating disorders and stage parents, abusive coaches, and manipulative businessmen, Chalked Up is the story of a young girl whose dreams would become subsumed by the adults around her.
My opinion: It wasn’t the best written or most powerful memoir, but it was a revealing look at the world of gymnastics that paints a different picture than that shown every four years during the Olympics broadcasts. Chalked up is a look at the pressures and the 'dark side' of elite and professional gymnastics. The self-loathing, destructive tendencies, and mounting external pressures that ultimately left Sey phycically and mentally scarred by a career that was over before the age that most careers have even begun.
Lessons from Chalked Up:
Being elite at anything requires sacrafice. In the world of gymnastic that sacrafice often comes in the form of social lives, relationships and "health".
It was difficult to read about how someone, or more accurately the culture of the sport, actually wants to stunt growth and puberty because growth changes an athlete's movement and appearance. What coaches of that era probably overlooked is that this behaviour was likely a catalyst for many of the injuries. Providing repetive strain on a malnourished body is a known formula for producing stress realted injuries.
Although it started out as Sey's dream to compete at the elite level, I wonder what the psychological impact was of having parents who uplifted their entire life to enable this ambition. From frogoing famility vacations, to communiting 2 hours each way for 2-a-day practices, to the demise of a marriage. For anyone that invested in something, it would be difficult not to expect an "outcome" from that time, effort, energy and resources you put in. But when it's your own kid and you fail to draw the line... that must have enduring consequences.
Sey mentioned that she hid many of her destructive behaviours from her parents. As parents I think we need to be more proactively engaging in conversations with our children. Helping manage expectations, navigate what is normal and what is not, overcome destructive tendancies and negative internal dialogues, and let them know it's ok to not be ok.
As parents we also want out children to be independent and successful. But we also owe it to them to be there to defend them when they can't or don't do it for themselves. A coach of my child would never get away with that kind of emotional abuse. A child should be a vessel to impart your knowledge, not a vehicle to a coaches own success.
When anyone transitions in life, the milestone should be marked, any achievements should be reframed and recognised, and those undertaking it should be supported. I feel like Sey still harbours a lot of regret over what she perceives as a failed gymnastic career. In hindsight, if someone had said to her 6 year old self and her family (mom in particular) one day you will be a national champion, compete at an elite level and travel the world. Would they have been happy to continue pursuing that dream and pay that price?
Chalked Up Quotes:
“The fear never abates. It is constant, relieved only in the instant I have landed on my feet. It surges again and again and again. Agitation and fright are my perpetual state of existence. But I ignore it as I climb back up onto the beam and begin rocking."
What Next:
If you enjoyed this book, I personally recommend Libby Tricket: Beneath The Surface
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