Rating: Good Rejection Proof blurb excerpt: An entertaining and inspiring account of conquering the fear of rejection, offering a completely new perspective on how to turn a no into a yes.
Rejection is a feedback tool. You can either let it hurt you or use it to help you. This all comes down to your attitude. In this book, Jia teaches you how you can use rejection as a catalyst for self-learning, growth, and success. My opinion: I was torn between tagging this book as a Best Personal Development Book, Best Sales Book, or Best Biography. Jia blends the underlying lessons into narratives so beautifully it's easy to get lost in the story and overlook the lesson. Thankfully after each core theme, there is a summary.
This book is VERY slow to deliver educational value. Not offering up much until a third of the way through. It does, however, build nicely and provide some simple, yet thought-provoking ideas as well as opening your eyes to the power of a simple ask. Most people I know fear rejection and that's why this is one of the Best Personal Development Books.
Lessons from Rejection Proof:
Rejection is human. Rejection is a human interaction with two sides. It often says more about the rejecter than the rejectee and should never be used as a universal truth or sole judgment of merit.
Rejection is an opinion. It is heavily influenced by historical context, cultural differences, and psychological factors.
Rejection has a number. If a rejectee goes through enough rejections a no could turn into yes.
Taking a no:
Ask why before goodbye. Sustaining the initial conversation long enough to ask why can reveal the underlying reason behind the rejection and present you with the opportunity to overcome the issues.
Retreat don’t run. After the initial rejection don’t run away, ask why.
Collaborate don’t contend. Never argue with the rejecter, instead, try to collaborate with the person to make the request happen.
Switch up, don’t give up. Before deciding to quit, step back and make the request to a different person, in a different environment, or under a different circumstance.
Positioning for success:
Give my why. By explaining the reason behind the request, one has a higher chance of it being accepted.
Start with I. Starting the request with the word I, can give the requester more authentic control of the request. Never pretend to think in the other person's interests without genuinely knowing them.
Acknowledge doubts. By admitting obvious and possible objections in your request before the other person, one can increase the trust level between the two parties.
Target the audience. By choosing a more receptive audience one can enhance the chance of being accepted.
Finding upside:
Motivation. Rejection can be used as one of the strongest motivations to fuel someone's fire for achievement.
Self-improvement. By taking the emotion out of rejection one can use it as an effective way to improve an idea or product.
Worthiness. Sometimes it is good to be rejected, especially if public opinion is heavily influenced by the group and conventional thinking.
Character building. By seeking rejection in tough environments, one can develop the mental toughness to tackle greater goals.
Finding meaning:
Find empathy. All rejections are shared by many people in the world, one can use rejection and suffering to attain empathy and understanding of other people.
Find value. Repeated rejections can serve as the measuring stick for one's resolve and belief.
Find mission. Sometimes the most brutal rejections signal the beginning of a new mission.
Finding Freedom:
Freedom to ask. We often deprive ourselves of the freedom to ask for what we want in fear of rejection and judgment.
Freedom to accept yourself. Our inner need for approval seeking forces us to constantly seek acceptance from other people. Yet the people whom we need acceptance from the most is ourselves.
Finding power:
Detachment from results. By focusing on controllable factors such as efforts and actions and detaching ourselves from uncontrollable outcomes such as acceptance and rejection we can achieve greater success in the long run.
Giving a no:
Patience and respect. Rejection is usually a hard message, delivering the message with the right attitude can go a long way to softening the blow. Never belittle the rejectee.
Be direct. When giving a rejection present the reason after the rejection, avoid long and convoluted setup and reasoning.
Offer alternatives. By offering alternatives to get a yes or simple concession one can make the other person a fan even in rejection.
Rejection Proof Best Quotes;
“It doesn't matter how amazing your performance or products are, if you target the wrong audience, who don't recognize, appreciate, or need your value, your effort will be both wasted and rejected.”
“If something can´t hurt me, then why should it scare me?”
"the way you ask a question—and how you follow through in the conversation—has an impact on the result you get."
What Next:
If you are interested in this book, you may want to check out our list of reviewed Personal Development Books.
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