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The Art of Communicating Review & Summary

Updated: Apr 28, 2023

Rating: Poor


The Art of Communicating blurb excerpt: In this precise and practical guide, Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh reveals how to listen mindfully and express your fullest and most authentic self. The Art of Communicating helps us move beyond the perils and frustrations of misrepresentation and misunderstanding to learn the listening and speaking skills that will forever change how we experience and impact the world.

My opinion: I don't know what I was expecting but it wasn't this. The title is misleading. The Art of Relationships would have been more appropriate. The content is very basic and the flow of the book wasn't great. Each to their own, thousands of people rate it very highly. I am just not one of them.



The Art Of Communicating Cover

Lessons from The Art of Communicating:
  1. Everything you speak is either nourishing or toxic to others.

  2. Learn how to communicate well with yourself if you want to get better at connecting with others.

  3. Be consistently compassionate and honest.

  4. Nurture others with loving speech.

  5. Communication will be different depending on many variables, none more so than time, person & place.

  6. Listening to others’ pain helps them feel better.

  7. Always tell the truth; be warm-hearted and honest; don’t lie or deceive others.

  8. You can evoke positive speech through the regular practice of mantras.

4 things to remember:

  1. Tell the truth. Don’t lie or turn the truth upside down.

  2. Don’t exaggerate.

  3. Be consistent. No double talk.

  4. Use peaceful language.

In Buddhism there are three mantras for letting people know you love and appreciate them:

  1. I am here for you - A powerful statement to show you are present and you are there with the other person.

  2. I know you are there and I am very happy - Say this after you have practiced the first one. This mantra is important to reaffirm that the presence of the other person means a lot to you, and they will feel they are loved.

  3. I know you suffer and this is why I am here for you - When you sense that things are not going well with the other person, rather than trying to fix things for her or him, say this to offer your presence.

The first three mantras focus on helping other people, but you also need to nurture your own emotions. The next three mantras help bring happiness to yourself and others.

  1. I suffer, please help or I suffer. I want you to know it. I don’t understand why you did or said what you did. So please explain. I need your help. - When you get hurt especially by someone you care a lot about, you either suffer silently or get back at the other person. By saying this, you open a dialogue, and you immediately suffer less.

  2. This is a happy moment - You show the other person how lucky you feel when they are there, and you can enjoy happiness together right here and right now.

  3. You are partly right - This is the mantra when you are praised or criticized. People see only a part of you and not the total you.

The Art of Communicating Best Quotes:
  • “Once you can communicate with yourself, you'll be able to communicate outwardly with more clarity. The way in is the way out.”

  • “There are many ways to tell the truth. It’s an art.”

  • “Home is the place where loneliness disappears. When we’re home, we feel warm, comfortable, safe, fulfilled.”

  • “You cannot love properly and deeply without mindfulness.”

  • "Communication isn't static"

  • "Mindfulness will enable you to judge less and realize their toxic speech is actually a result of suffering inside."

What Next:

If you are interested in this book, you may want to check out our list of Personal Development Books.


My personal recommendation for those who loved this book - The Courage To Be Disliked or A Quiet Mind


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